In creating EQ101P, the contributors identified many valuable articles, books, and sites beyond the hundreds embedded in the course.  Also, below, you’ll find some ideas on handling challenging questions and conversations.


First… we didn’t know where to fit this in the course, but loved it because parenting is challenging, so we need to laugh about it sometimes:



Emotions & Emotional Intelligence


Conflict & Discipline




    • Dr. Sylvia Rimm’s Smart Parenting:  How to Raise a Happy, Achieving Child by S. Rimm
    • Emotional Intelligence : Why It Can Matter More Than IQ  by D. Goleman
    • Emotionally Intelligent Parenting by M. Elias, S. Tobias, & B. Friedlander
    • How to Raise a Child with a High EQ:  A Parents’ Guide to Emotional Intelligence by L. Shapiro
    • The Optimistic Child  by Martin Seligman
    • Positive Self-Talk for Children by D. Bloch
    • Raising Resilient Children by R. Brooks and S. Goldstein
    • Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by J. Gottman
    • The Secret of Happy Children by S. Biddulph
    • Children: The Challenge by Rudolph Dreikurs
    • Parents Are People Too, An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents by Katherine Gordy Levine
    • Redirecting Children’s Behavior by Kath Kvols
    • Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen
    • The Mental and Emotional Tool Kit for Teachers and Parents by Ray Mathis
    • (all of Ayman Sawaf’s children’s books)
    • How Children Succeed  by Paul Tough
    • How Much is Enough  by Jean Illsley Clark, Ph.D.
    • The Price of Privilege  by Madeline Levine, Ph. D.
    • Teach Your Children Well by Madeline Levine, Ph.D.
    • Mind in the Making by Ellen Galinsky
    • The Blessing of the Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel, Ph. D


Appendix A

How to address difficult questions/statements from kids:

  • Listen actively, minimize preconceptions, move from judgment to curiosityLead with curiosity and wonder: “That is an interesting question…”,  “Tell me more…”
  • Ask clarifying/guiding questions, zip your lips  and listen to their answer
  • Validate your child’s feelings
  • Help them explore the feelings behind their questions
  • Create space for your child to express their feelings…but set an example of expressing them in positive, relationship-building ways
  • If your child is not able to express his/her feelings verbally, provide different ways to express: art, drawing, pipe cleaners, playdough, music, dance, movement, etc.
  • Enjoy your child’s’ growth and who they are
  • Recognize that every question is okay and interesting
  • Transform questions from limiting emotions to expanding ones
  • Questions are important and make life interesting
  • Let them know they are not alone… there are many difficult questions in life!
  • Let them know you will help them figure it out-together
  • Let me ask you a question…
  • Ask them how THEY might explore that question
  • Ask them how they’d like you to support them in that exploration
  • Have a jar/bottle/box for collecting their great questions (date them), which they might go back to whenever they like. Have a box for your own big questions too.
  • Let them know that not all questions need to be answered or answered right away
  • Realize as parents you do not have to have “the answer”
  • Take a “Six Seconds” pause before your first response
  • Remember to navigate your own emotions – take responsibility for your own feelings, at least in your head
  • Share your thoughts, feelings, actions, and questions with other supportive adults
  • If appropriate, tell child a story from your own life

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