In creating EQ101P, the contributors identified many valuable articles, books, and sites beyond the hundreds embedded in the course. Also, below, you’ll find some ideas on handling challenging questions and conversations.
First… we didn’t know where to fit this in the course, but loved it because parenting is challenging, so we need to laugh about it sometimes: http://www.danielleguentherphotography.com/best-case-scenario.html
Emotions & Emotional Intelligence
- “The Mental and Emotional Tool Kit” (for teens and adults) by Ray Mathis: http://www.itsjustanevent.com/
- http://kellybear.com/ Kelly Bear resources teach children essential life skills such as self-control, problem solving, healthy living habits, and social competence.
- Useful parenting research and information on “emotion coaching”: http://www.gottman.com/parenting plus see http://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/EMOTIONALLY_INTELLIGENT_CHILDREN_Updated2.pdf
- EI: not only nice to have: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/12/04/playing-nicely-with-others-why-schools-teach-social-emotional-learning/?src=twr&_r=1
Conflict & Discipline
- Is Expressing Disappointment an effective discipline strategy? http://www.theparentbrain.com.au/2014/11/expressing-disappointment-effective-discipline-strategy/
- Helping kids handle conflict & complexity: http://www.rochemartin.co.uk/eq/7-Rules-to-Bullet-Proof-Your-Kids
- Useful strategies tips for parents: http://sites.gse.harvard.edu/making-caring-common/parents/strategies-tips
- Angela Duckworth and the significance of Grit: http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/sept13/vol71/num01/[email protected]th.aspx
related video http://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit
- Carol Dweck and 15 Tips to Promote a Growth Mindset: https://www.usatestprep.com/blog/2018/07/05/15-tips-to-remember-when-promoting-a-growth-mindset-in-the-classroom/?msID=4a9a1c5e-a0cc-4c84-abfc-a7145b0a5fd5
- The NYT article of 9/14/14 “ Learning How to Exert Self Controlâ€ http://query.nytimes.com/search/sitesearch/#/learning%20how%20to%20exert%20self-control
- Sherrie Wharton MA, OTR/L on Family Dynamics that creates positive responses. Listen to her radio interview on Parenting: http://thealternativehealthcarenetwork.com/Hudson-Valley/podcasts/TAHCN-7-19-14-Occupational-Therapy.mp3
S.Wharton’s website http://www.accessthebestyou.com/
- Rosalie Menduni holistic OT and her BASICS Model . Check her Video and read her bio RM’s bio.
- Linda Lantieri, expert in social and emotional learning and conflict resolution, Linda Lantieri, serves as Director of The Inner Resilience Program, co-founder of the Resolving Conflict Creatively Program(RCCP) and is one of the founding board members of theCollaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning(CASEL)
- Race to Nowhere documentary
- School Family Partnership Strategies from CASEL
- Center For the Study of Social Policy about Strengthening Families: Strengthening Familiesâ„¢ is a research-informed approach to increase family strengths, enhance child development and reduce the likelihood of child abuse and neglect. It is based on engaging families, programs and communities in building five protective factors: Parental resilience, Social connections, Knowledge of parenting and child development, Concrete support in times of need, and Social and emotional competence of children
- http://www.themotherco.com/ Group of mothers on a mission
- Explore the Forest School principles to enjoy and learn from nature. http://www.forestschoolassociation.org/what-is-forest-school/ and http://www.naturedetectives.org.uk/schools/forest_schools.htm offer lots of resources.
- Dr. Sylvia Rimm’s Smart Parenting: How to Raise a Happy, Achieving Child by S. Rimm
- Emotional Intelligence : Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by D. Goleman
- Emotionally Intelligent Parenting by M. Elias, S. Tobias, & B. Friedlander
- How to Raise a Child with a High EQ: A Parents’ Guide to Emotional Intelligence by L. Shapiro
- The Optimistic Child by Martin Seligman
- Positive Self-Talk for Children by D. Bloch
- Raising Resilient Children by R. Brooks and S. Goldstein
- Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by J. Gottman
- The Secret of Happy Children by S. Biddulph
- Children: The Challenge by Rudolph Dreikurs
- Parents Are People Too, An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents by Katherine Gordy Levine
- Redirecting Children’s Behavior by Kath Kvols
- Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen
- The Mental and Emotional Tool Kit for Teachers and Parents by Ray Mathis
- (all of Ayman Sawaf’s children’s books)
- How Children Succeed by Paul Tough
- How Much is Enough by Jean Illsley Clark, Ph.D.
- The Price of Privilege by Madeline Levine, Ph. D.
- Teach Your Children Well by Madeline Levine, Ph.D.
- Mind in the Making by Ellen Galinsky
- The Blessing of the Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel, Ph. D
How to address difficult questions/statements from kids:
- Listen actively, minimize preconceptions, move from judgment to curiosityLead with curiosity and wonder: “That is an interesting questionâ€¦â€, “Tell me moreâ€¦â€
- Ask clarifying/guiding questions, zip your lips and listen to their answer
- Validate your child’s feelings
- Help them explore the feelings behind their questions
- Create space for your child to express their feelings…but set an example of expressing them in positive, relationship-building ways
- If your child is not able to express his/her feelings verbally, provide different ways to express: art, drawing, pipe cleaners, playdough, music, dance, movement, etc.
- Enjoy your child’s’ growth and who they are
- Recognize that every question is okay and interesting
- Transform questions from limiting emotions to expanding ones
- Questions are important and make life interesting
- Let them know they are not aloneâ€¦ there are many difficult questions in life!
- Let them know you will help them figure it out-together
- Let me ask you a question…
- Ask them how THEY might explore that question
- Ask them how they’d like you to support them in that exploration
- Have a jar/bottle/box for collecting their great questions (date them), which they might go back to whenever they like. Have a box for your own big questions too.
- Let them know that not all questions need to be answered or answered right away
- Realize as parents you do not have to have “the answerâ€
- Take a “Six Secondsâ€ pause before your first response
- Remember to navigate your own emotions – take responsibility for your own feelings, at least in your head
- Share your thoughts, feelings, actions, and questions with other supportive adults
- If appropriate, tell child a story from your own life